Crazy Junkyard

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CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

DIVORCE:
Future Tense of Marriage.

LECTURE:

An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done
together.

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes.

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip.

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY.

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later.

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you.